The Last Confederate Surrender

I wrote this just before my wedding. June 12, 2004 at our sister site of Techography.com. I’m republishing it here both for posterity, and because this weekend is my wife and I’s eight year anniversary. I look back now and I can see a visible difference in my writing. I can also see a difference in myself. That’s for another time, however. Bear in mind this was written several years ago so the phrasing is appropriate. I did not post that weekend. I will not be posting this one. Somethings are worth celebrating privately. -BS

Me, Circa 2004 taken by one of my best friend (and best mans) wife during our wedding.

 

History tells us that that June 23, 1865 was the date the last Confederate General Surrendered his command.

I”m afraid its just not so.

The real date is June 12, 2004.

Thats the date I surrender (I”m a former 18th Georgia Infantry Re-enactor) my freedom to a Northern born individual, a former Union Re-enactor for the 155th Irish of Western New York.

Thats right, everyones favorite wanderer is getting married. So here are some random thoughts as I will not be posting for the rest of the week barring some travesty.

June 23, 1865. When the leaders of the Confederate Indians learned that the government in Richmond had fallen and the Eastern armies had been surrendered, they, too, began making their plans to seek peace with the Federal government. The chiefs convened the Grand Council June 15 and passed resolutions calling for Indian commanders to lay down their arms and for emissaries to approach Federal authorities for peace terms.

The largest force in Indian Territory was commanded by Confederate Brig. Gen. Stand Watie, who was also a chief of the Cherokee Nation. Dedicated to the Confederate cause and unwilling to admit defeat, he kept his troops in the field for nearly a month after Lt. Gen. E. Kirby Smith surrendered the Trans-Mississippi May 26. Finally accepting the futility of continued resistance, on June 23 Watie rode into Doaksville near Fort Towson in Indian Territory and surrendered his battalion of Creek, Seminole, Cherokee, and Osage Indians to Lt. Col. Asa C. Matthews, appointed a few weeks earlier to negotiate a peace with the Indians. Watie was the last Confederate general officer to surrender his command.

From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven, and when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, the streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from that united being.
-Ba”al Shem Tov

I’ve been married once, in love twice, divorced once and now I”m trying for round two.

I”ll be blunt, in the long run my first wife and I were not in love and I think we both realized it.

After my divorce I fell in love with a girl in NY. I”ll not insult her, because,its better that way. Theres no point in kicking dirt over bygones. But her family was very…for lack of better words and to turn a good southern parlance…..uppity. Long story short I didn’t make enough money to satisfy her parents (whom she still lived with) and the relationship ended after 3 years, and sadly on bitter and bad terms.

This was my first love.

My second love is who I am with now. After months of being accused of being with this person fortunately fate shoved us together. Now we find we are rather happy and are living very well.

I think I am ready for round two.

I love you for what you are, but I love you
yet more for what you are going to be.
I love you not so much for your realities
as for your ideals.
I pray for your desires that they may be great,
rather than for your satisfactions,
which may be so hazardously little.
You are going forward toward something great.
I am on the way with you,
and therefore I love you.
— Carl Sandburg

Shes unique. Shes tough as nails. Daughter of a prominent Western New York farmer. She knows what its like to be hungry and to be broke. She also knows what its like to live alone, and to work 2 jobs to pay your bills. She loves history, especially civil war history. A Favorite of my own. She went to University of Buffalo for History. We have a lot in common. The future is as bright as it could be.

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

We started as just friends. Have been friends for about 2 year’s. Started getting serious towards the end of last year and here we are. I trust her. Which is scary for me. I am volatile at best and extreme at worst. I take life by the horns and fly by the seat of my pants 90% of time. I want to “live life like your dying”.
She respects that, and keeps me grounded no matter how rough the waters become. No matter what is thrown at me, she is self-less and unselfish in every form thinking of me before herself, no matter how much I encourage the opposite.

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it”s cracked up to be. That”s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is if you don”t risk anything, you risk even more.
— Erica Jong

Even when I was married I traveled. Between the Army, and Nortel Networks I was gone 11 months out of the year easily. My first marriage was one of young lust. The only good thing that came of it is my daughter who I love and cherish to the depth of my soul.

I spent another year beating around the country working, searching for something I figured was not there and I wouldn’t find.

I gave up on it entirely when I broke up with the last. Preferring the friendship of Evan Williams, Jim Beam, Pete Coors and Jack Daniels. Along with a pack of Lucky Strikes I’ve haunted numerous clubs from Lockport to Gowanda, NY, the lost Georgia boy trying to find a place to fit. Singing in a restaurant 2 nights a week. My old guitar and me.

Now I am complete again. And I hope it is a permanent thing. I will do everything in my power to make sure it is, and to make her as happy as I am.

The only true gift is a portion of yourself.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don”t have much too my name. A 1932 Gibson F-top guitar. A 1973 Ford truck. A beloved old Stetson hat. Some wore out boots, some BDU”s and a few medals. A lot of memories haunted in things I have obtained and kept. A bookshelf made from the walls of my great grandfathers house. My lariat. A horseshoe from my first horse. Spoons collected by grandfather, my father and myself from everywhere we have been. Its not much.

So I offered her the only thing I have, me and my name.

She doesn’t know it yet, but I intend to sing to her at our wedding. A song by a gentleman named Andy Griggs.

Here are the lyrics to this song. And oh yea:

Wish me Luck!

She Think She Needs Me

she thinks I walk on water
she thinks I hung the moon
she tells me every mornin
they just don”t make men like you
she thinks I’ve got it together
she swears I’m as tough as nails
but I don’t have the heart to tell her
that she don’t know me that well

she don’t know how much I need her
she don’t know I’d fall apart
without her kiss
without her touch
without her faithful lovin arms
she dont know that its all about her
she don’t know I cant live without her
she’s my world
she’s my everything
and she thinks she needs me

sometimes she cries on my shoulder w
hen she”s layin next to me
but she dont know that when I hold her
that she’s really holdin me holdin me

she don’t know how much I need her
she don’t know I’d fall apart
without her kiss
without her touch
without her faithful lovin arms
she don’t know that its all about her
she don’t know I cant live without her
she’s my world
she’s my everything
and she thinks she needs me

yea now the funny thing is
she thinks she’s the lucky one

she don’t know how much I need her
she don’t know I’d fall apart
without her kiss
without her touch
without her faithful lovin arms
she don’t know that its all about her
she don’t know I cant live without her
she’s my world
she’s my everything
and she thinks she needs me

She thinks I walk on water
She thinks I hung the moon

 

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