Posts Tagged ‘tired’

Closing Time

Updated 10/16/2017: Yes I managed to an update. No I’m not returning regular (not that anyone watches this space anymore to care). But this is my baby. I gotta take care of it :)

I came to an epiphany of sorts. It’s a painful one to be sure.

I’ve been writing online for over 20 years. At it’s peak this Website saw over 5k visitors per day, and a robust commentary. Slowly, by attrition waged on me by responsibilities that has declined to next to zilch save for spammers.

I simply don’t have time to do this anymore. Further as The Armorer once said, the muse has left me.

Unfortunately for me these days I spend more time in airports than I do anywhere else. It’s an unpleasant realization that when I am inspired to write something I’m usually 2,000 miles from a place that I can.

Combined with my fear of losing my job if I post something that someone determines is a “micro aggression”, “racist”, “sexist”, or any other wonderful reason to be offended that the ne’er lived can come up with, and its not worth the efforts.

Will I return? Maybe. Hopefully. I’m still on Twitter (because I can run it from my phone). I’m still on Tumblr as well. I do not intend to shut down the site because…well, frankly hope springs eternal and there is still a lot here to love.

But today’s world is not kind to those who attempt to freely speak their mind, or whom disagree with any status quo. Its a sorry state of affairs to be sure.

Yes I am fully aware that doing this surrenders to the bastards. Unfortunately, I have bills to pay, an education to finish, and a life to lead, and those things are more easily done in my own way out of the *cough* limelight *hack* that is the Internet.

Ciao!

Whew

Hard to believe my stats class is almost over. 2 weeks of it left in fact.

This makes it harder to believe my educational journey likewise is nearing its end. I have 1 elective class remaining, DDBA 8592 – Business Infrastructure Vulnerability Analysis, something that I thought would blend well in what I do for a living now: building facilities and their network infrastructure as a quasi Construction/IT Project Manager.

The only thing left is my dissertation. Hard to believe I have made it this far frankly. I was barely a D student in high school and spent more time partying than I ever did applying myself. I’ve started my educational journey literally decades after my high school peers. I sometimes wonder how it would have been different had I not chosen to see the world first. That’s not a regret, though it may seem like it, more of a whimsy. A muse if you will, of what could have been versus what is, and what I hope will be provided I can write my thesis in something resembling the correct fashion.

Its been a long journey, and to be certain it is not over yet, but I can see the city limit signs anyway on this trip and I’m beginning to count miles.

The biggest question yet remains…..what do I do next, and where do I go from here? Do I stay with my employer? Do I hang my shingle? Do I try to do something new? Do I move, relocate? Or do I hope that something, someone, somewhere notices what I can do and am capable of and has a use for me?

Time will tell.

Chris Muir must be channeling me

On more than one occasion I’m asked how I can work in IT and want a home that is off grid, why do I not have Netflix, Hulu, etc. Why I don’t move where internet is faster, better, more reliable, with more data. Why I don’t have the latest geek gizmo, or smart phone. Why do I still blog on my old desk top PC.

The simple answer is IT is where I work as I have too much vested in it over the years to change. However, now I live to work, not work to live and I don’t have to take part in the system anymore if I don’t want too and I don’t.

I’m tired of instant video. I’m tired of instant access. Tired of the constant barrage of advertisements at my gas pump, at the check out line. I’m tired of folks using my purchase history to try to sell me something else via my Email. I’m tired of being pushed to buy something 24/7. Tired of hearing what the Kardashians did this week, what Beiber did last night, and what Hillary is doing tomorrow. I don’t care whose phone was hacked anymore. I’m tired of hearing about government officials who stay out of jail after breaking laws that you and I would never see daylight again.

I’m just tired. Of all of it.

Chris Muir of Day by Day, got it perfect with this one.

Down to the Wire by Chris Muir March 22, 2016

Down to the Wire by Chris Muir March 22, 2016

Grinding

Spent the last several days sick as a dog. When I first got to CLT I couldnt hold my head up. Yesterday was first day of really feeling almost normal, but after several nights of medicinal induced sleep I couldn’t pass out last night. Don’t know if it works that way for everyone but for as long as I can remember if I take something to go to sleep, if I dont take it the next night I struggle with going.

End result? I got about 4 hours sleep last night and I have a long day ahead. I’d complain but frankly I’ve been working between 60 and 70 hours every week since August short of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

The project I’m on has been a ball buster, but the primary portion is nearly complete. Which means my travel schedule will relax soon and I can spend some time at home. I will stil be travelling until at least June if not July, butnot as much as I have

Have a busy year between residency for school and my reunion. Not sure how I am going to juggle all this.

 

Residency

As if life weren’t complicated enough I have to try to complete two residencies this year for school.

Thats two weeks time I have to pay for the travel, hotel, food etc to go sit in a room to learn something that by all entire possibilities could be handled in another fashion. Basically its a pain in the ass. I get the fact its supposed to be a motivation builder, but frankly its annoying, inconvenient and problematic when trying to hold down a full time job.

For all attempts this should be my last year in my program provided I don’t either run out of money or burn out. The clock is ticking on all of the above.

Stress? What stress?

Radio Intercepts
  • photo from Tumblr

    milligan-vick:

    Halloween Witcher
    art by Nastya Kulakovskaya

    Candy as Yennefer
    Anna as Ciri
    Torie as Triss
    photo by me

    10/31/17

  • photo from Tumblr

    Tejuino a local traditional Guadalajara cocktail. Tastes like a liquid corn tortilla

    10/25/17

  • photo from Tumblr

    Another custom cocktail from LLaura of Hyatt Andares of Guadalajara
    This is a berry, mescal and vodka blend!

    10/17/17

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