I have high hopes for its success in turning what was and is easily one of the most black market industries out there.

A lot of folks got pretty irate when they delayed the release.

It’s public television people, not prime time. Slots get moved, more information becomes available things get edited. Not to mention the nice lady from Pro Publica contacted me again, so I’m guessing they are doing some more background work for an additional. Whose to say. I might even use my real name. But I digress…

At any rate if you have a moment, or are just curious as to what it is I used to do, or are interested in seeing just how dangerous my and other cellular contractors jobs were, then look no further:

Watch Cell Tower Deaths Preview on PBS. See more from FRONTLINE.

“Nothing happens to any man that he is not formed by nature to bear.”

Marcus Aurelius

Its taken me a few years to come to terms with the fact I’m no longer on the sharp end of the stick. There are times when I wish dearly that I was once again, but the fact of the matter is I am now approaching 40, vastly overweight, and have the physical conditioning of a paralytic slug. Harsh, but truthful.

The changes we go through as we get older are interesting to analyze. As a teen I spent most of my time outdoors and in the woods, hiking. As an adult I spent most of my time indoors, thinking about hiking and never doing anything about it.

I ply myself with educational purpose, books, research, radars, and things to expand my mind. Unfortunately its my experience that when expanding ones mind the waistline is sure to follow.

Years ago I hated golf, detested it, in the last two years it has become therapeutic, almost an obsession.

I used to read fiction and sci-fi, now I find myself reading survival manuals, historical references. biographies and documentaries.

I’m not sure if its the world I have created that I am not at home with, or myself. I don’t even listen to the same music I used to. For years Southern Rock, 70′s Rock mixed with Country and bluegrass were my mainstay. Now it’s 30′s and 40′s band music, laced with  blues ballads.

I woke up at 4 am this morning. Not because I had to. But because my brain told me, for just one moment, that I was back in a barracks, was 22 and needed to get my ass out of bed and ready to rock and roll. For a brief moment in the haze of awakening I could see my bug out bag in the corner of my bedroom. Then my daughter stirred and reality had its own sharp stick. I’ve been sitting in my office staring at my keyboard, a person with a love for the written word at a loss for them.

Mid Life crisis? I doubt it. I love my job, I love my company. I love my wife and my kids. I like my school, and I like my friends some of whom I have put through hell over the years.

But something needs to change. Of this I am certain. I have spent most of my life on the move. Moving states, moving places, moving hither and tither, changing jobs. I feel almost…stagnant.

From 1986 until 1996 I was in Georgia in one form or another with occasional forays elsewhere. It is the longest I have ever been in one location in my entire life. I have resided in Missouri since 2006. I feel a need for change, but I am uncertain where to make that change, where I live, my home, my work, myself, my life, my school, or what; or how to make that change. But change will come of that I am assured. It always has and always does.

The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.

Aurelius

In the meantime I have that sharp end of the stick picking at my mind, and telling me that change is good no matter where or how it occurs. Its good for the soul, good for progress.

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.”
- Marcus Aurelius

I’m trying dammit, Marcus. I’m trying.

In any event I have been studying my ass off, and writing a term paper so my time has been pretty much limited. Unfortunately this is one of the things that immediately gets ditched when I run out of time.

I can’t apologize, its a conscious decision.  We have to decide where our priorities lay, and unfortunately for me my number one priority is my degree as I have a very large chunk of hopes and dreams for me and mine riding on it. So this, my gaming, my yard-work,  even my sleep all take a back seat to making sure I literally make the grade.

The down side is this is my vent, my place to let some of that compounded frustration out.

Hopefully no one cuts me off on the way to work *grin*

Was a great weekend.

Storm Chasing.

Celtic Woman show. (You haven’t lived until your 7 year old is leaning against you in your seat  awe struck and whispers “Daddy….they are AMAZING!”)

Took Critter to Sea Life

Oriental Massages for everyone but the Critter who was very disturbed by our enthusiasm.

Was a truly Great time.

Now I need time off from my vacation, no?

Back to the grind. However I am hoping I’m not coming down with my coworkers flu.Its either just the amount of driving we have done since Friday or my head is becoming mucus breeding grounds. I’m hoping its the former not the latter

Which is to say I consider Blake Powers a friend. Through the years we have passed E-mails, occasional telephone calls and sworn we will have to get together again but the timing is always bad.

Now we have another reason to get together and host a couple of jars.

See Blake has finally published his book regarding his military embed time. You can find a copy here that will not only help Blake but also help with his pet military assistance project Cooking with The Troops.

As DBS rightly points out Blake isn’t in to advertising. But thats what we’re for right?

So if you get a chance, pick up a copy of the book. It will be well worth your time, and a good read.

Consider this a strong recommendation from yours truly the “book snob”.

Not a Martin Luther style, but one that comes of being relaxed in warm blankets on a spring Easter morning.

I was dreaming of being a kid again in my grand parents yard.

My grandparents and whatever aunts and uncles as well as my own parents (if any of the aforementioned were home from deployment) would all be on the porch following service and playing old bluegrass gospel tunes. We kids would be scattered throughout the front yard chasing easter eggs and what not. My grandfather would tie fishing line to June bugs and Japanese beetles for us to fly around the yard. The smell of friend chicken and collard greens coming from my grandparents home. Fresh cut grass drying for hay and a morning dew so thick you could wash in it.

My grandpa had a Wurlitzer player. He’d put Jimmy Rogers on in the evenings most days, but for Easter it was always home grown. Except for Sunday service. No music was allowed during service, just voices which always struck me as odd for no sooner than we would get home then the instruments come out, the porch chairs be occupied and the music start.

It was so real, and I was so young I could feel the dew soaking my shoes and my socks making my feet squish when I would wiggle my toes. I could hear the hum of the beetles and the far off cigar tinged voice of my grandfather singing Silver Haired Daddy of Mine.

I am not a very religious person. I should be,  given my luck and the guilty conscious I was born with tells me I had best be and that I need to improve vastly.  But I find the dedication hard, given some things that I have witnessed and seen through the years here and in other countries. It all seems so futile sometimes. But I digress.

I won’t spoil my daughter with my terrors. For her, Easter is a day of service, eggs, chocolates, chicken and buttermilk biscuits for breakfast, and play time with her immediately family. It’s a time of home cooked meals, beautiful days with flowers in bloom.

My uncle, Charles Marshall, his trademark grin, his beloeved Ovation guitar, and a quick wit for those around him.

Religious or not I can’t help but feel a bit home sick, and a closeness to my relatives whom have been called home. My Aunt Betty who had a crooning voice so suited to Hobo Bill’s Last Ride it would give you chills when she sang it.  My grandfather, whose favorite song was most likely Little Log Cabin in the Lane. My Uncle Charlie who specialized in old cowboy songs and who, if I must admit, I modeled myself after in so many ways. He’s jovialness, always a smile, his ability to take everything in stride. I never had a chance to tell him before he was taken away. It always seemed so unmasculine, and immature. Now to feel that foolishness for just even a moment.  He would sing the yodeling cowboy songs with a brash grin spread across his face, like All Around the Water Tank.

My Grandfather, Arvil Stanley, how he remains in my mind: ball cap, cigar, and playing on his porch

In my head this morning we were all rejoined, and we kids played on in awe. Now I wish I could go back, for just a moment and play, and learn from them. To cover those old songs that my peers have never heard and have no memory of. The music can’t die with us, and it can’t go with them either. We must let it play on, for as I awake I realize that every time I try to play it, they are playing with me.

As the morning sun creeps in to my room, I try in vain to return to sleep, return to those days and that moment in time.

But we can’t go back. Home is never really home once you leave, trust me on this. But it is the place your always called back to by those who know you least while knowing you most.

Perhaps one day. But for now I have my memories, which I have chosen to share with you.

Having worked the aftermath of the Joplin tornado, and doing storm tracking/chasing for the last few years I don’t consider myself anything close to an expert. However, between that and my military training I have a pretty good idea of what not to do (nothing!) and some direct experience in what may help you survive a very dangerous and deadly experience. I am no expert, I can not guarantee you or your families lives as there are just too many variables. I can say that it can’t hurt to be prepared, and I’d rather be prepared than left with absolutely nothing which is what many people found themselves with here in Missouri this time last year.

So I boned up on my research material, dug in to my old manuals and training notes from years gone by and here is what I consider probably the best (short term) program for tornado/disaster prepping.

Please take this seriously, this is not a doomsday-apocalypse-the-sky-is-falling-day-after-tommorow fantasy where you will appear on the other side in a Jerry Ahern novel (although I do like his books!). The point of this is to help you and your family possibly survive a very dangerous situation that can occur.

If you don’t want help, then find something else to read.

Lets Begin.

I reached out to a couple of experts in the field to help me put this together and those I couldn’t reach I used their written material. Sources are given credit in their respective areas so you can go out and read their work yourselves if you of mind too. I can tell you I own and have read all of them so feel free to think of me what you will.

Things to Remember
When deciding on anything for purchase always consider the following:

• Does it have multiple functional uses?
• Is it portable?
• Reusable?
• Work for everyone whom you are planning for?
• Store for long periods of time safely?
• Within your budget?
• Safe?
• Plan to be rescued.

Plan

Have a exit strategy!  Practice that exit strategy, and often.

You may have notice a tornado is coming, giving you plenty of time to walk to your shelter. But here is food for thought:

The average warning for a tornado (IE Sirens going off) is 12 to 13 minutes (per NOAA.)

Joplin, Missouri received three sets of alarms, the first one in excess of twenty minutes before arrival and the death toll still was in excess of 160.

Have a tornado drill, and in that drill determine who grabs the bug out bag, who does the head count. Time yourselves in heading for the door. Practice this at night with the lights off as well.  Because tornadoes rarely hit in beautiful weather and there is no guarantee that if you live rurally like I do that you will have any warning aside from your weather radio ( I am a full 10 miles to the nearest storm siren). But if you have no electricity and you haven’t replace the back up battery….well…then you don’t have that either do you?

If you have a in-ground shelter or a in-home shelter take the time to notify your local fire and police department of your address. Tell them how many people are in your home and that you have a shelter, where its located and what kind (in home or outside in-ground). This gives you an assurance that someone should coming looking for you if you happen to end up at ground zero of a touch down.

If you can buy extra of your emergency food. Let the family try it so they know what to expect. Teach them about water conservation. Go camping!

Try to think of worst case scenarios…such as not being able to secure the door to your shelter. In Tuscaloosa it was found that several people survived by placing motorcycle helmets on their heads. While I’m not saying go buy a $600 helmet, I am saying improvise, but do it wisely!

Time
First like any good Project Manager you need to determine how long you wish to prepare for. I decided based on the rural location of my home and the difficulty emergency personnel may have in getting to my location 3 days was my target, and 5 days was optimum.

Don’t be surprised if you decide to decrease your time line because of cost. Some thins to keep in mind however: after the Joplin tornado we were digging people out of their homes a full five days after the tornado struck. In Tuscaloosa individuals were found in severe stages of dehydration at 6 days. So take your location and emergency responders information in to consideration when you decide your time line if it is at all possible!

Once your time frame is established now we can get down to the math of what you need.

The Rule of Three’s
The Rule of Three’s is a old survival tactic to remember critical items. It is based on the average Joe Six Pack, not professional SCUBA divers or Olympic athletes so please don’t quibble over small details.

If you: You could be dead in:
Panic 3 to 4 seconds
Have no oxygen 3 to 4 minutes
Have no shelter 3 to 4 hours
Have no water 3 to 4 days
Have no food 3 to 4 weeks
Fall apart as a group 3 to 4 months (or days, weeks, hours minutes etc)

Keep that in mind during your planning for your own preparations. Also take it another step and adhere to the KISS principle. If you don’t know what that is, well, your already in trouble.

Those items in mind, lets go with the simplest items first.

My Shelter and gear, no the ammo case does not contain guns, it holds multiple blankets as described below.

Water.

Without water you will die. End of discussion. I do not care how much you hate the stuff, how much it tastes weird or how you would rather have your favorite soda or sports drink. You can go weeks without food. But without water the game is over. Ask anyone whom has been through boot camp and they will tell you we learned the hard way that water is your friend, like it or not.

A person at rest, doing nothing loses 2 to 3 quarts of water in a day. Now imagine being stuck in a close quarters, hot sweaty underground concrete shelter for 2 to 3 days. Very quickly Dehydration becomes your enemy.

The simplest solution?

Minimum: 1 gallon, per person, per day.
Optimum: three gallons, per person, per day.

Buy a few good sized coolers to hold your water and keep it safe. Your average cooler should hold about 4, 1 gallon jugs.

Food
If you can afford to live on MRE’s go for it. Most folks can’t afford $100 in food that may and or may not get it eaten. Personally I went the cheaper route. Datrex makes an affordable, portable, small, meal ration bar. It’s not pizza. But it will keep you and yours alive. Whats more their product is approved by the US Coast Guard for storage in some pretty nasty conditions, so if you want to leave this inside a sealed container in a storm shelter you should be ok.

When you decide to buy, again do the math on how much you need based on your time line.

Here’s where it can get a little crazy.

If you want the simple safe solution figure 3,000 calories per day, per person.
If you want to be much more specific then have at it. Behold the BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) calculator.

Women:
Your Height in inches ____ X 4.3 =A
Your weight in pounds ____ X 4.4 =B
Your age in years ____ X 4.7 =C
A+B+655-C = Your BMR

There’s your metabolic rate and roughly how many calories per day you need.

Men:
Your Height in inches ____ X 12.7 =A
Your weight in pounds ____ X 6.2 =B
Your age in years ____ X 6.8 =C
Now
A+B+66-C = Your BMR

Now to adjust for life style

If your sedentary to lightly active (less than 30 minutes 1 to 2 days per week) multiple your BMR by 1.3 to equal your caloric intake per day needed.

If your moderately active (30 minutes 6 to 7 days a week) multiple it by 1.4
If your very active/athletic multiple by 1.5

For more great survival info and health options like this check out When All Hell Breaks Loose by Cody Lundin.

So now you know roughly what you need and how much. Again this isn’t surviving World War 3, but keeping your family alive until you are rescued. So planning is as crucial as the amount you spend.

Now of course where does your food and water go once you have used it?
Glad you asked!

Personal Bidness

Easiest solution (based on the idea of using a tornado shelter) is 5 gallon buckets. I recommend at least having 2 (with lids) 4 if financially possible. These have the advantage of doing double duty of storing a large quantity of your emergency gear when its not in use, can act as seats and (drum roll) can be used for your personal bidness.

All you need is 2 simple 2×4 slats (I recommend the 2×6 for comfort) to act as a seat. When your complete, apply toilet paper as you normally would, spray with chlorine bleach, and reseal the container.

This of course means that you will want a bucket, a lid, slats, and finally a container of bleach as well as toilet paper.

Again remember your time frame! If you know how much toilet paper your family uses any day you might want to err on the side of caution and place more. Further make sure to store it in a ziplock type bag. Its usually raining when you are climbing in to a tornado shelter and the last thing you want is wet toilet paper when you need it!

First Aid:

Any Red Cross First Aid kit will work in a pinch, but extend your kit a little more with these helpful items

2% tincture of iodine – It’s good for for first aid and can be used for water purification. (the formula is 5 drops per 1 qt of water, let stand for at least 30 minutes or longer) There are some other rules with this (like adding it to muddy water is fairly pointless as is adding it to the water that is streaming out of your local nuclear plant) so use some common sense please.

Bandages- Gauze bandages can be used for everything from binding wounds to starting fires (should you need one) So having extras around is a good idea.

Aspirin- Have a older relative? Aspirin has been used as a substitute for nitro on occasion for heart attacks. Its not a perfect solution but its better than nothing, it can also be used to calm your pounding head after being trapped in a 5×5 concrete box with your children for 3 days.

 Light

Lots of folks depend on those wonderful pump up Coleman lanterns, and thats ok. Just remember they burn fuel, which emits fumes in your enclosed area. They emit heat which warms your enclosed area. And, of course, they can explode.

I like having multiple choice light ideas. So I have a LED lantern first with a secondary back up battery pack. The battery packs are rechargeable so I’m not buying batteries constantly, its light weight, easy to operate, emits no heat and doesn’t explode.

I do have a traditional kerosene “mining” style lantern as a back up should I run out of juice in both battery packs, but it is as last resort. I chose this model because the fuel container is metal, not glass so its less likely to explode. The glass has some minimal protection to keep it in place and a handle to keep it mobile. The lamp oil can also be used as a antiseptic if needed for first aid. Also lamp oil is typically sold in plastic storage containers.

Keep Clean!

Lets face it, after a wall folks are gonna start smelling not so nice. And when those ration bars kick in its probably gonna be dangerous to light that oil lamp.

So here are simple items to have:

Biodegradeable Baby wipes- I stress biodegradable because they will break down faster than regular wipes and those 5 gallon buckets can fill up quickly if your food plan doesn’t take to somebody. These can be used to wipe hands, bodies and bottoms if need be.

GermX- Get the biggest bottle you can find. Its a antiseptic and works in a pinch to sterilize an areas much as possible due to its high alcohol content.  Also it burns, brightly, and extremely hot so again, double use!

Biodegradable toilet paper- Yes they do make it. Its in the camping section of most big box stores. Look for anything approved for use in RV’s. And once again it can burn, so it has a double use!

Ok, those are the extreme basics of what you will need. Now lets talk storage.

Exposure

All the water and food in the world will not protect you from exposure. Panic, rain, wind, concrete and fear do not mix well. You may be hot as blazes with sweat dripping off your nose now, but when it turns 60 tonight and your in a concrete box, it can get cold. Invest in some mylar blankets. They are small, portable, reusable, cheap and they will help regulate your body temperature.  I bought the two person size, and I bought 1 per adult that I anticipated being in my shelter.  When buying these do not buy the rock bottom cheapest ones. I bought a brand from a big box store for less than $2 bucks and the first time it got damp it was ruined. You get what you pat for. Pay a few extra dollars and get something you can fold back up in to a ziplock bag and use next year (if needed!).

Bug Out Bag

I keep a pistol and 100 rds of ammo in my bugout bag as well as my critical gear. Thats a decision you have to make for yourself however.

Pack a heavy duty, durable bag and keep it by your front door. This bag should contain:

• 1 change of clothes per person you anticipate being in the shelter (I recommend 2 t shirt per person and 1 long sleeve shirt per person)
• 1 pair of shoes per person
• 2 pairs of socks/underwear per person
• An amount of cash money
• Copies of any critical documents (like homeowners insurance contacts, Uncle Fred, Sheriffs Office, or your buddy who works for the NOAA etc) secure in a ziplock bag
• 1 hat per person
• A deck of cards (4 days in a shelter and you will lose your minds staring at each other)
• Extra batteries for any lights that are stored in your shelter or flashlights you intend to use
• Copies of identification, drivers licenses, etc.

The idea is when you know the danger is coming, you grab this bag on your way out the door. DO NOT PUT YOUR MOTHERS FINE CHINA IN THIS BAG! This is critical items that will keep you alive and will prevent your life from being absolutely miserable because the only thing you took to your shelter was your pajamas and now everything you own is GONE! It has happened. Unless you like living in squander and the benevolence of complete strangers who may take days to find you keep this bag as minimal, and as light as possible so you can move quickly!!  Homes, and heirlooms can be replaced, lives can not!

Misc

Here’s where a lot of folks go crazy.

I implore you to stick to the considerations I gave you above regarding double use.

Here is my list of miscellaneous items, your mileage and own list may vary:

• 30 chemlights (mil grade)- (In case its just too hot to use the oil lamp or I need to signal for help in the dark)
• Gerber multitool – in case I need to remove a vent from the inside or try to remove the door. Also helps with minor repairs if things break inside the shelter
• Gerber Hatchet – See above
• 2 EMS foam trauma blankets- Can be used as beds, blankets, shelter, or wraps.
• 2 Army Wool Blankets – See above.
• 4 ponchos- Rain, exposure or emergency shelters.
• 1 emergency whistle- I did buy the one with multiple gear. Used to signal for help obviously
• Flare gun & Flares – Most tornado shelters have air vents. Those vents can be removed so you can signal outside for help.
• 1 multipowered AM/FM/Shortwave/Wx radio with handcrank and spare batteries – It supplies light, weather, and the outside world with multiple power sources. Hands down one of the most important items in your bag!
• flashlights with spare batteries- these are cheap, bright, small, easy to store and use very little power for the light they offer.
• 4 folding chairs – Any tailgate style chair will do. Its better than sitting on the floor.
• 1 box latex gloves- You never know when you may have to handle something risky, from a serious  injury to the “honey pots”. Keep disease down in your close quarters and use these.
• 2 bundles 100 ft 550 cord- I don’t care what color you get but cordage is always handy. From improvising splints to a backpack, to making shelter for the night after the storm its a safe bet you will find a use for it.
• 1 magnesium stick – You do not want to be without one of these in my opinion. When the storm is over and your house and car is gone, you may need a way to keep warm until help arrives. A little word to the wise..don’t put out a magnesium fire with water. Just in case you failed high school chemistry it makes a reaction better known as a explosion.
• 2 ziplock bags containing 6 boxes of matches – Fairly self explanatory and cheaper than the so called “all weather matches” sold in most sporting goods stores
• 2 containers of body wipes – We’ve been over this item
• 1 ziplock bag containing 2 rolls of TP – Covered already
•  4 emergency candles – Always have a backup for your back up
• 1 emergency phone recharge pack – Useful…provided you remembered to grab your phone. Also doubles as a light!
• Signal Mirror - For signaling for help in the day time. Used to signal for help, as well as directing sunlight and basic grooming
• bag of citrus cough drops- With all the dust blown around and depending on when you cleaned your shelter last someone is bound to get a cough. Save your water, keep these handy.
• 2 qt canteen of water- Can be used to store other liquid if necessary later..such as more water. This model is light and flexible when empty so its stores easier than the rigid models.
• 2 LED beacon lights- Light, nonexplosive, bright, and they flash a lot longer than a flare. Use in conjunction with to let rescuers home in on your location.
• Bleach- plain old fashion chlorine bleach has the ability to sanitize surfaces, hands, your honey pots and sterlize water. Keep a gallon of this and a 1 qt spray bottle around in your shelter.

Final Thoughts

Your own pack list may vary, but always keep in mind: this is a short term aspect. Your goal is to make it until you are rescued. Until then you need to protect yourself, your family and make sure that nothing happens to them until that time. Have ways to signal for help aside from just your cellphone. Have backs up plans. Don’t rely on any single method to stay drive, be clean, or have shelter.  Stay within reason of your abilities and your budget. Don’t go broke buying hundreds of dollars on high end equipment that you either cant use or only one person in your home can.

This March has been brutal, not weather wise but just in general.

We lost a good friend, and military blogger in Carroll LeFon AKA Neptunus Lex. My whole family was nearly killed in a car accident. My daughter has been plagued with one sick spell after another. The list goes on and on.

But in the end it is still the seasons, and just plain luck that goes wrong even though sometimes it is fate itself that has turned against us.

Irish American relations have been sorely taxed these last few years. The recent immigration laws are not helping, giving obvious favoritism to folks from Asia. Meanwhile Ireland, a country with arguably one of the most educated immigrant groups per capita is inconceivably been ostracized and had their numbers reduced.

Effectively what this American government seems to be saying “Don’t send us those whom can stand on their own two feet, send us your indentured, your submissive and your dependent.”

In more than just a heritage fashion it is disgusting. For the third time in history the Irish are being treated like second class citizens while people scream racial profiling based on skin colour. Thats not to say they are wrong, but rather that racism takes more forms than just simple colour of skin.

The American media stereotype of the drunken Irish brawler has become so ingrained in to our psyche that our communities have no desire to seek the truth. We have become a nation of American Idol, what is spoon fed to us by the “boob tube” we believe, and what is told to us we accept, never seeking information or truth on our own.

As for myself I tell my daughter stories of Conchobar mac Nessa, St. Finian, and Tuath mac Cairrill. For if we do not pass these stories down they will be lost to us save for history books that will go unread.

Those of us in America are caught in a cross roads: not Irish by Irish standards, not American by American standards. Not a “minority” by government standards nor a majority by populace. I wager there are less than 20,000 who can speak Gaelic in the state let alone the region here for example.

Politically we are also centered, our families having came here due to either the more recent economy or (such as in my own families case) the Troubles. Cowards by ones accounts, and noble by others there is no easy road for those who mask their voices, and their words.

Its been said that the Irish are all at once prepared for nothing, and proud just the same

It is Ireland’s sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness.
Kenneth Tynan, Observer, 27 May 1956

We didn’t send him to England. But really, for an Irishman there really isn’t much difference between death and Ireland.

For me, it didn’t really click until this morning.I had an eval with my current employer, I sat in front of my laptop at 4 o clock this morning with my coffee, and on impulse clicked Lex’s blog link from my bookmarks. My nerves akimbo. I wanted some peace.

Over the years the people I have known via websites have waxed and waned. When I first started writing on line back in 1995, there was one other site I visited with regularity. In 2000, there was eight. In 2002 twenty two. In 2007 almost 52.

Now? 17…and of those fully half are inactive links. Its a testament to my love for Lex’s work that I kept him on my book mark list. The others I liked and I keep hoping that they will update. I have been reluctant to remove the inactive ones from my bookmarks for this reason.

As I clicked his link, and the page loaded the hot coffee turned cool against my lips as I was reminded by whisper…he’s gone. His words will not grace us any longer, save for works in days gone by. His thoughts of previous days left to haunt us in the present.

I set my cup down and wondered. This digital snap shots in to our lives. Where will they go? What will happen to them. For many, when the costs come due our families will shut them down, turn off the lights, and our words will vanish in to the ether at some point.

Our words left unread by those in the future whom may read them. It is one advantage our print and media brethren have over us. Our archives are only around as long as someone wishes to pay for it. There are no libraries whom receive our subscriptions, no history scribes whom will hallmark our work and words. It is up to us to find ways to back up these works, save them, and distribute them in some fashion for others to hold dear.

Our children may not come of age knowing our works, or what motivated us without these very lines I type. How we thought and the people we sought to be, in the end are portrayed here, in black and white and sent to you in hi definition on 1,024 x 768 pixels through a OC48 pipe from one coast to another.

Lex is gone. That much is final. His words may one day slip in to obscurity. Like my other blog friend triticale whom we lost in 2007, or Acidman whom we lost in 2006, their websites stand testament to their sentiments, themselves, and their values. Digital monuments.

But one day those digital monuments can and will fail. Companies get sold, servers crash, people move on, costs become exorbitant. For me a culmination of almost two decades of writing belong on two websites…the thought crosses my mind…what will happen if? I have no regular blog partner with keys. My wife has no interest in these things, and no interest in voicing her own ideals. It will simply become like my coffee, cold, and one day to vanish in to the electronic ether.

Maybe I am bleak because a little light has left this world. Because one who continued, with others fell to the way side, to provide us with measured, rational doses of words, wisdom and work. Who shared with us his day to day experiences, struggles and life.

Maybe I am bleak because how many of us, in that former profession, had those narrow misses? Those brief glances in to our future? that feeling that all we knew and had was about to change in a single instance….and once he was past that point he chose to go back to it, willingly, knowing the costs at stake? Only to be snatched at the last possible instance mere feet from safety?

It seems incomprehensible really. But the Banshee does not care about prose, wit, or talent and at some point when she calls to us to warn of us of An Bás, the time to prepare will be over.

I prefer not to think that those engines final whine were the cry of the Banshee for Lex, although fitting it may be.

When An Bás came calling, I choose to think that someone, up there….just wanted a good debriefing on how life is down here these days. And to keep it interesting he picked the best writer we had.

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam
May he rest on peace

Now that I’ve learned a great deal about Northern Ireland, there are things I can say about it: that it’s an unhealthy and morbid place, where people learn to die from the time that they”re children; where we’ve never been able to forget our history and our culture-which are only other forms of violence; where it’s so easy to deride things and people; where people are capable of much love, affection, human warmth and generosity. But, my God! How much we know how to hate! Every two or three hours, we resurrect the past, dust it off and throw it in someone”s face.

-Betty Williams Northern Irish Peace activist, and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize.

It”s almost time ye see.

Time to dust off the green carnations, the Erin Go Bragh pins.

Time to remember, and time to celebrate.

It has been said, albeit sometimes bitterly, that Ireland’s best exports were her son’s and daughters. But they have kept the faith, however Americanized. Little Ireland, poor and underpopulated, with it’s humble patron Saint unknown in the rest of the Christian world causing all the fuss one day a year on a day in March.

Saint Patrick’s Day in New York is the most fantastic affair, and in past years on Fifth Avenue, from Forty-fourth Street to Ninety-Sixth Street, the white traffic lines were painted green for the occasion. All the would-be Irish, has-been Irish, and never-been Irish seem to appear true-blue Irish overnight. Everyone is in on the act, but it is a very jolly occasion and I have never experienced anything like it anywhere else in the world

Brendan Benhan Brendan Benhan”s New York

My grandfather used to joke.

“Do ye know what St Patrick’s Day is in New York?”

My grandfather moved south to Georgia, the mountains of the time in the North of the state wild, to escape the lack of jobs and the No Irish Need Applysigns that plagued him upon his arrival to the land of milk and honey.

“No Grandpa.” said I, the youth and unknowing. A babe in the woods. ” What is St Patrick’s Day in New York?”

“St Patrick’s Day In New York is the day all the factory owners on Fifth Avenue watch their employee’s parade in the streets.” he roared, laughing at his joke that took me years to understand.

Englishmen, Scotchmen, Jews, do well in Ireland- Irishman, never; even the patriot has to leave Ireland to get a hearing.

George Moore

Each day of the Weekend, for the rest of March I will supply some tidbits on life in Ireland, stories my family has past to me, both of their time in Armagh, and upon their arrival here in the US.

I hope that you will See St Patrick’s Day to be more than just a time for green carnations, green beer and music. I hope you will see just what it means for those of us who are Irish, in America.

Thus when you raise your green glass, to your mates and your friends, and you hear the words of every lasses lover in the lyrics of Danny Boy, you”ll have a tear in your eye and your heart, for a people who at once are ready for anything, and prepared for nothing, and proud just the same.